Wednesday, February 6, 2008

everything BUT BAD

What BAD is that you keep on going with a circle of fucked-up…you've been down that road before…yet, you think that this time it might be different somehow, yes *ma’am…clouding your mind with tons of “what ifs”
*my psychiatrist (imaginary one, I call her Mandy)

Okay, given that, miraculously you maintain a decent-distance, ..not too far but close enough to stick out your flags, with words such as “needed” “desperate” “moody” “fragile”…et cetera…uuuuw..love that word…et cetera, …ya huh? It’s me, starting to write again after like what?...ten or more freakin years of paper-mute?..yes, dahling…It’s me, a common english-classes-flunk-out gal, who’s start loosing words, implying; I’m not that vocab-less, (admitted, I AM right now!)…hence, begin reading!*
*Mandy noted me on how often I use the letter I…NARCIST!

Lately, my life, if you call that living at all, I may say…is nothing BUT…but what?...fuck, how would I know?...my shrink suggested a “relief-well” solution, dump my entire trouble (as in God pour water in a well the first place, before man digging the ground) into a 20 meter or so hole, then, I am supposed to…you know…on daily basis, I’m just in it for the drugs, woman!...Cant you tell???

Cut down on the curses, once she “prescribed” me, (I swear to Gawd, if I use more parenthesis, I’d be sitting next to Mini Me). Don’t think I swear that much anymore though-if you take-out my sex scenes (this means with another person)…currently I’m working on swearing on my rusted Javanese vocabulary for dirty words..i.e: “JENES” (got it from one of my aunty who think we cant get cable because, we live in a “JENES” neighbourhood, this she meant Seattle, 1997-or so, Broadway district). If any of you interested on finding out how to pronounce that word..gimme a hola! (got this thug-line from Matt, btw)

- wh

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